Tucker Max, Tamo Sein & Jackson Pollock. Discuss.

First off, never pay $10 for a single, when you can get a double for $14...and never hesitate to tip your bartender nicely, for sharing that info with you.

TWO double Hendrick's & Tonics...yes please...and thanks to Tamo Sein for my healthy addiction to Gin (I feel like a 70yr old when I drink around my Dad).

Get on the plane from LA to Vegas and sit next to a nice older lady; not Crypt Keeper, but not Jennifer Aniston.  Take off, flying, yay; Tucker Max shenanigans, courtesy of Sloppy Seconds...download it now...I'll wait.

-BACK?-
"I'd hit him so hard, he'd have to walk toward the light to ask Jesus what just happened." <-- you're welcome

A few pages in come the obligatory, "Drinks sir?" with the rhetorical, "Jack & Coke," I say…"two, please."  Flight attendant informs me that, due to the short flight, I can only be served one.  So I turn and  ask if I can buy the lovely lady sitting next to me a drink?  Older lady, we'll name her Jackie, agrees and so does the FA, so we're golden.

I get up to go piss, come back, get OUR drinks, and return to the iPad.  What seemed like 2-4 sips in, the all too familiar -DING- comes, and hey, lookie there...we're now beginning our final descent.  I look at to Jackie, who has been babysitting her drink the entire time (she knew her part in this), who says, "I can't chug like I used to," smiles, "welcome to Vegas," and hands the drink back.

So, I chug the two drinks (begrudgingly, mind you), turn to thank Jackie, who tells me that I drink like Jack Palance…?!  I, randomly, say, "Yeah, well I fight like Jackson Pollock!"  She smiles, and says "Probably."

So, today I ask, WHO THE FUCK is JACKSON POLLOCK!?!  I mean, I know the name…he's a painter (Paint like Pollock, you're welcome), but was he a fighter?  So I Wiki him up and find this little tidbit: "He had a volatile personality, and struggled with alcoholism for most of his life."  Mr. Pollock was, most likely, a fighter.  I relay the story to a friend, who emails back with:

"Another tidbit about Jackson:

He is a splatter painter. AND in pop culture if you “Jackson Pollock”, you have effectively blasted a load in some broads face. So, fighting like Jackson Pollock is fucking awesome.  

You’re killing it."

I can't SCRIPT this shit...maybe I can...anyone need a writer (LA, I'm lookin' at you)?

LASTLY...KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

 

Yeah, it's Darth v. Luke - but BEHIND the mural...what do you see?  Anyone recognize Nakatomi Plaza?  Yup...Die Hard & Empire in one shot.














- AC